Unfortunately in our society today, it is pretty dangerous just to be female. I have an almost unhealthy level of fear of being abducted or raped, and I take HUGE precautions to stay safe. Sorry, not a single one of these tips is designed to help the date go smoothly and sparks to fly; this is all about keeping us beautiful ladies safe! (These tips are useful even beyond a first date)
When I go on a blind date, especially if it is someone I met online, I pick a safety buddy (SB). This safety buddy knows every detail they can about my planned night so that if something were to go wrong, someone has all of the information they can to help authorities find me or at least the person I was out with. Call me paranoid, but I do it for my own comfort. The steps I take with my safety buddy are written in pink.
When I go on a blind date, especially if it is someone I met online, I pick a safety buddy (SB). This safety buddy knows every detail they can about my planned night so that if something were to go wrong, someone has all of the information they can to help authorities find me or at least the person I was out with. Call me paranoid, but I do it for my own comfort. The steps I take with my safety buddy are written in pink.
- Pick a activity/restaurant before the date actually begins. This will save you the awkward, "I don't know whatever you want to do/eat", super annoying. Tell your SB your intended location; this is where authorities would start to look.
- Meet him there! That way you have your own transportation; if you want to bail you can, if you have to bail you can, and if you want to head to his place afterward, you can! Having your own transportation gives you a ton of freedom. Make sure your SB knows how you plan to get there
- If he does pick you up, there are a few things you can do to get the most info to your safety buddy:
- Ask him what kind of car you should be looking for. When he tells you, send this info to your SB.
- If you think it would be weird to ask that, then send your SB a description of the vehicle as soon as you can. I normally try not to text while out with friends/on a date, but this is different than chatting with friends.
- Sneak a pic of his license plate. (But delete it once you send it to your SB because that would be mortifying if he saw a photo of his plates on your phone)
- Tell him what you'll be wearing. This does two things: a) amps up his excitement to see you because now he can envision what your beautiful self will be wearing, and b) will help him find you in the crowd. Now tell your SB what you're wearing; of course your buddy can describe your face, but clothes are one of the things that random passersby are likely to remember. From five meters away you can describe someones outfit, but you have to get a lot closer to see the details of someones face.
- Tell your SB what time you plan to be home, and that if you do not contact them by a predetermined time, to take whatever actions you agreed upon beforehand. My predetermined time is 10:00 the following morning; late enough for it to be OK if I sleep in on accident, early enough to start looking for me quick.
- If you do this, you HAVE to remember to tell your SB when you get home! How dumb would you feel if they marshaled the troops only because your ass forgot to tell them you got home safe.
- Decide who your SB needs to notify if you don't make it home safe. Are they calling the police? Your parents? Your other friends? Knowing what to do if you don't make it home is the most important part of the plan. My SB knows to call my mom; she's like the female Liam Neeson and would have me back by kicking some ass and taking names.
- Let your SB know if there's a change in plans. So you fell in love over your pasta and now you have to go home with him because if you don't he'll get away (none of that is realistic in my opinion). Once again, how dumb are you going to feel if your SB is freaking out and you just got dickmatized.
- If you drove yourself, take a confusing route home. You also need to keep an eye out behind you for anything out of the ordinary; a car being too close repeatedly, you notice the same car behind you multiple times, etc. If for any reason you think you are being followed, lock your doors and drive to the nearest fire station, police station, or hospital immediately. Do not stop for any reason, however if you absolutely must, head to the brightest lit/most populated area you can and do not open the door for anyone. Call 911.
- Send all of his info to your SB. By now, your SB knows where you were supposed to be, how you got there, and what time you were supposed to be home. Pictures, phone number, car description, anything that can identify him is helpful.
- Two drink maximum. You don't need to be getting fucking hammered with a guy you just met for various reasons, not the least of which is that men can handle more alcohol than women (this is science) and you getting drunk gives him more power, both physically and mentally. As always, WATCH YOUR DRINK.
- Go out in an area you are comfortable with. You are safer and able to think more clearly under pressure when you are in an environment you know and recognize, not to mention how cool will you look when you order the Salad Niçoise and pronounce it perfectly (he doesn't need to know you eat here weekly).
USE YOUR APPS!
*Uber: With Uber, you can enter your destination when you request a driver under the area that says "Fare Estimate", and once you request a driver you can send your ETA to anyone via email or text. The message will have your receipt for the trip, your route from the GPS data, and the driver who picked you up, and what time you got picked up and dropped off.
*Find My iPhone: It may be a mark of deep trust, but if you give your Apple ID to someone and you get taken, they might be able to use your phone's location to find you! (My mom has mine for emergencies)
All jokes aside, it is up to you and only you to take the necessary steps to stay safe. Were any of these helpful or new to you? Do you have your own tips you want to share? Let me know in a comment below!